Today was another appointment at the OB. Doug came along with me because I thought I would be getting an ultrasound. As it turns out, I did, but it wasn't actually part of the plan for the day. I met a new doctor today, the second doctor in the practice who I've met. She was awesome. Right away I knew I would like her. We talked about everything, including some issues I've had in the past with potential blood clots and some issues I've had with vasculitis. She was very open and friendly and answered all my questions. After the initial part of my exam, she said she was going to try to listen to the baby's heart beat using a small machine that she called a "doppler" machine. It looked like a little tape recorder with a detachable microphone. I was laying down, so I didn't see a lot. Doug had to explain it to me after the fact. The doctor pressed the little microphone contraption onto the surface of my lower stomach and moved around trying to hear the baby. As she moved around and pressed harder, it became extremely uncomfortable. Actually, I don't think uncomfortable describes it. It hurt, bad. I was laying there, gripping the table and almost crying, that's how bad it hurt. The doctor was focusing on what she was doing and clearly she didn't notice that I was in pain. After a while I finally managed to whimper a question out "is it supposed to be this uncomfortable?". Immediately she stopped what she was doing and put down the machine. She moved so she was at my face and apologized in the most sincere voice. She honestly sounded very sorry and compassionate. I don't know why, but that compassion put me over the edge. I felt completely vulnerable and for some reason, started to cry. As the tears streamed from my face I was so completely embarrassed. I attempted a joke about how if I thought this was painful then I better get used to it because child birth is going to be torture. She stayed right at my side and held my arm. She told me that's not true, that there's no reason why child birth has to be a torturous experience. She said there's no reason I should ever endure pain and I should always communicate what I'm feeling rather than suffering in silence. I agreed. She helped me sit up then and held my hands. She was so compassionate I just wanted to hug her. I still felt totally vulnerable and wanted to crack a joke to get my control back. Why do I do this? I finally blurted out that the doppler probably wouldn’t have been so hard on a skinny girl, it's just that she had a lot of fat to press through. She took my hands again and said that had nothing to do with it, the baby is simply very tiny and hard to locate, it has nothing to do with the size of the mother. More compassion, I really liked this doctor, if only I could get used to being vulnerable around her instead of grasping for control. She explained that because she was unable to hear the heart beat with the doppler (which was no problem, it's still really early and the baby is really small), she would instead have to send me for an ultrasound to detect the heartbeat. Once I was back at the desk to check-out, the woman at the desk made an appointment for me to come back for the ultrasound at the Outpatient Services area. This would take place at 4:00 pm, so Doug agreed to come back and meet me for that.
We both went to work and then met around 4 for the ultrasound. The nurse brought us back to the room and performed the ultrasound. She was very thorough and once she completed she turned the monitor so I could see. This was just as fascinating as my first ultrasound, but this time Doug was there to see it, too. The baby was somewhat more defined than the last Ultrasound, but it was still hard to define much in the image. The nurse called my doctor to explain everything I saw and then came in and handed me the phone so I could talk to the doctor. The doctor I met with the first time was on the line this time, and she explained that everything looked good and the baby's heartbeat is strong. She said there was a minor complication that was found. Apparently I have a small "hematoma" near the sack which could potentially rupture causing me to bleed a little at some point. She expressed that it's very common and I should not be concerned. She said it should not have any adverse effects on the baby or on me. This is good news.
With that, the nurse gave us a new ultrasound print out and sent us on our way. Wow, what a day.
