This Weekend:

Things I threw up:
Italian Ice
Iced Tea
Water
Potato Chips
Popcorn

Things I actually ate:
Saturday:
2 slices of bacon
1 egg
A couple fried potatoes
Toast
Applesauce

Sunday:
5 bites of a cheeseburger
3 spoons of baked beans
1 mozzarella cheese stick
1 chocolate chip cookie
Applesauce

I'm sorry this blog has turned into a place to do nothing but tell you what I'm getting sick on, but right now my food intake (or lack thereof) is consuming me. I'm hungry constantly and there's nothing I can eat. I stare at the shelves in the pantry at all of the things I would love to eat. I'm scared though, I'm shell shocked. I look at the cheezits and remember how sick I was on them. I look at the cans of creamy soup and think of how horrible they'll taste on the rebound. I look at the pasta and the taco kits and even the hamburger helper and I shiver. I'm so scared of being sick that I've given up eating. There's nothing I want. Poor Doug hasn't had a good meal in months. He's been surviving on Smart Ones and microwave Tyson Chicken and rice. Of course, I can't handle the smell of that so I have to go upstairs when he eats. I'm so tired of being starving, but not being able to eat. It's so frustrating that it makes me cry.

In other news, I did something completely horrifying this weekend that I'm going to chalk up to pregnancy. I burped - no, burped isn't the right word - I belched, loudly, while sitting at a table in a public place with my family. We were at a Barnstormer's game and enjoying the free buffet they were offering in one of the suites. I was trying very hard to eat something, anything. I had a few bites of a cheeseburger and suddenly felt ill. It probably didn't help that my brother was talking about how eerily gray the burgers were. He claimed they were a mystery meat or soy or some otherwise non-burger meat. It got to me. My stomach started turning. I thought I'd try to stick it out. I sat down the burger and dished up the beans instead. That's when it happened. I belched, loudly. I quickly covered my mouth and apologized to everyone at the table. Thankfully it was just my family, but still! I thought I was going to die of humiliation. Everyone acted like it was no big deal, so I decided to do the same. I sat down my fork and covered my food with my napkin. I stuck to the fruit punch then, no more food for me.

Something else I did this weekend - the Brickyard Garage Sale on Saturday. I woke up early on Saturday, stopped for decaf Starbucks and picked up Dani. We headed to my parent's house to park and then we shopped the sales. Dani got a lot of great deals, but she knows she's having a boy, so selection was easier for her. I don't know what I'm having yet, so I had to stick to neutrals. I picked up a couple yellow outfits with ducks on them and a few other things. Two sleepers, some onesies and some pants. I even picked up the cutest pair of socks you've ever seen, with two stuffed ducks on the feet. They were adorable. They have rattles inside so they rattle when you shake them. For 25 cents, I couldn't resist. Wow, I bought my first baby stuff. That's a big deal.

Just look at the little ducky socks (or are they baby chicks? I don't know).

Hash Brown Casserole

(Warning: If you don't want to read about projectile vomit, skip this post.)

Had a serious craving for this casserole yesterday. I made it for Easter, so I had some of it on Sunday, but I had to share with 9 other people, so I didn't get as much as I wanted. The casserole comes together pretty easy, so I decided to stop on the way home and get all the necessary ingredients. When it finished baking I pulled it out of the oven and dished myself a big bowl. A while later I went for a second big bowl. It was so delicious and cheesy, and the topping was crispy and buttery, it was perfection.

About an hour later I was feeling sleepy and started to get ready for bed. I put the dishes in the dishwasher, I put away the casserole, I poured myself a glass of water, etc. Then out of nowhere I became uncontrollably sick. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. This was the definition of violently sick, it was horrible. I was throwing up so violently it was splashing me. It was horrendous. Afterwards all I could do was lay my head in my hands and cry. Yet another food I've ruined for myself, something I won't be able to eat again for a long, long time. I blamed myself for overdoing it, and eating two bowls. Maybe if I only had one I would be okay. Then I blamed myself for being so stupid and thinking I was getting over the sickness. Then I picked myself up off the floor, cleaned myself up the best I could and crawled up to bed. I went to sleep in exactly what I was wearing, I didn't even change. I went to bed with vomit on my shirt and I didn't even care. I cried myself to sleep. I'm so tired of being sick. When will this end?

We're home!

Had a fantastic time in Ohio, it was fun to spend time with everyone to have everyone treat me like royalty as a pregnant woman (eat up, you're eating for two! - no, you take the comfortable chair, etc.). Easter Sunday we had delicious food as always and I loaded up. Easter evening we had a bonfire at Joel's place complete with burgers, dogs and sausages. I had a burger and of course several smores.

Doug would probably point out that we had to stop a couple more times than normal on the drive for bathroom breaks. I know the baby isn't big enough to be pressing on my bladder or anything, but all the books say that hormonal changes are causing me to urinate more often. So, yes, we stopped 3 times on the way out and again on the way back. Normally I can get by with one or two stops maximum for the 6 hour drive. At our first stop on the way out I picked up a bag of chips and a candy bar. I also got a water and a decaf Starbucks. Really healthy stuff. I ate the candy bar with my coffee. Obviously I wasn't thinking when I picked up the candy bar. I don't think I've mentioned anything about it here on the blog, but chocolate hasn't tasted quite the same since I've been pregnant. I don't know how to explain it. I still want chocolate, but when I taste it, it's just not the same sensation or texture as I'm used to. I didn't really enjoy the candy bar, but I shared it with Doug and he seemed pretty happy with that. Later in the journey, around 2:00 or so, we crossed into West Virginia and were stopped in traffic. Cars were moving every now and then, but it was practically a stand still. This is when I decided to break into the chips and the bottled water. I shared with Doug but I ate most of the chips. Then, as we continued to sit in traffic I started to feel my stomach gurgling. This was not good. I knew I was going to need a bathroom - fast, but we were barley moving and there were no exits in sight. Thankfully I was able to hold on long enough to make it through the traffic and we exited at the big Cabela's exit just inside WVA. Doug made a split decision and went to a Quiznos so I could use the bathroom to get sick and he could get a sandwich. He ordered me a fruit punch which tasted good but I didn't want to drink anything too fast after getting sick. After 15 minutes or so we were back on our way. We arrived around 5:30 and had a late dinner with the family.

All weekend I enjoyed excellent food with no sickness. I'll admit I had a couple moments where I thought I might lose it, but I was able to keep it together and not throw up at all through the weekend.

We headed home Monday after a big breakfast with the "extended" family at Bob Evans. Everything was delicious but I didn't want to overdo it and be sick in the car. About 2 hours into the drive I had a strong craving for sweets. I wanted candy and I wanted it fast! I saw an exit ahead that had a Sheetz convenience store so I asked Doug to stop. They didn't have the candy I wanted (Spree) but I got a box of Mike & Ikes instead and some Necco wafers. I also bought a Sprite for the drive. After about a half hour of popping candy and sipping Sprite, I started to feel really queasy. I stopped eating and put everything out of sight. I had a couple moments where I thought I'd be sick but somehow I composed myself. Whew. The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful and Doug let me catch up on my sleep for a while. We stopped at my parent's house to pick up the dog and cat and my mom had made us a good dinner and fresh baked cookies.

While I miss being with everyone out in Ohio, I have to admit, it's good to be home. Back to work tomorrow.

Go West Young Woman

Tomorrow morning we head to Ohio. We're going out to visit my Aunt and Uncle and their family for the Easter weekend. I love spending time with this family, they make me feel so cozy and comfortable, I just love it. I have a lot of packing and preparations to do tonight so I know it's going to be a late one. Hopefully I can sleep in the car for a bit tomorrow to recuperate. I can't wait to spend time with everyone. We'll return on Monday afternoon.

Maternal Fetal What?

Today was our appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors. I'm not exactly clear on all the aspects of Maternal Fetal Medicine (actually, I don't know a lick about it) but I know it's the place I had to go to have our risk level established for things such as Down Syndrome. The office is above the Outpatient Center at Women's and Babies hospital, so I knew the general area. Doug came with me since an ultrasound would be part of the exam. We were the first appointment of the day, so we didn't have to wait long. An ultrasound technician brought us back to the room. She never introduced herself but told me she'd be doing the first ultrasound, taking measurements and getting several views of the baby. She told me she would take her measurements and show them to the doctor who would then come in and do another ultrasound doing the same thing. I thought this was strange. "What, the doctor doesn't trust you?" I asked, laughing so she'd know I was kidding. No, she explained, it's not that at all, it's just that with both the doctor and her doing the measurements, there's less chance for error, so that’s how they do it. Well, I couldn't argue with that.

This room was set-up entirely different from the ultrasound rooms downstairs. Here, the equipment looked newer, shinier, and there was even a second monitor above the bed where I could watch everything she was scanning. I didn't have to crane my head to look at her screen. Doug had a big, comfy chair and a good view of both screens. This ultrasound was much longer than any of the others. I'm told this is because the other ones were only to detect a heartbeat while this one was to actually check all the baby's limbs and skull and take measurements of the spine (head to rump), the neck, the nose, etc. It was fascinating to be able to see the baby for so long, and to see all the motions it was making.

The technician commented at how active the baby was, and it really was, it was dancing all over the place, the head was bopping and the legs were moving, too. It was crazy. She took images of the baby's legs (two) and arms (two) and showed us that the skull is developing nicely (whew!). She took her measurements, which was really interesting. The whole time she was working the baby was tossing and turning and swimming all over the place. It was really wild to watch. It's unreal to think that this baby is inside of me and moving all over the place, yet it's too small for me to even feel yet. It's completely surreal. The technician finished and covered me up with a towel, saying the doctor would be in soon. Doug and I marveled at how cool it was to see the baby for so long and to see all the detail.

In a moment or two, the doctor came in and started the whole process over again. Once he took his measurements and images, he printed out an image for us. Then he proceeded to tell me to wipe myself off and get dressed. I hate doing this when the doctor is standing there. I think this is one of those insensitive things that causes me to dislike male doctors. There's something humiliating about wiping ultrasound gel off your belly with an already partially oozy towel that's been used to wipe off the instruments first. It's also somewhat degrading trying to fish up your underwear and pants that are unzipped and rolled down to your neither regions. It's not something you can do while lying on the bed, which causes you to stand and turn away from the doctor while attempting to reach for your zipper and buttons. Of course, turning away from the doctor meant facing Doug. It's not like he hasn't seen me zip up my pants a million times, but it's just downright uncomfortable when there are two perfectly dressed adult males in the room, both looking at me. Ugh.

The next step, the doctor informs me, while I realize I didn't do a good enough job wiping the ultrasound gel off my belly and now my pants feel cold and gooey, is to draw some blood to be sent away and tested. The blood work, combined with the ultrasound measurements, will determine my risk. I cheerfully explain that I thought it would only be a finger prick, not an actual blood draw. He says that finger pricks are unpredictable and don't always work, so his practice draws the blood instead. I laugh uncomfortably at how difficult it's going to be to get blood from me. Doug explains my problem with hidden veins while I chatter quietly about how I didn't realize there would be a blood draw, had I realized it I would have eaten a bigger breakfast, I would have drank more water, I would have worn a heavy sweater to keep my arms warm. The doctor acts unconcerned and takes my arm. I show him where Cindy has been successful getting blood from me in the past. He checks it out but keeps looking. He reviews both my arms, hands and wrists and finally settles on the spot I originally suggested. He misses. He tries again, he misses. He tells me he's going to have to get a phlebotomist from downstairs at outpatient services. I tell him to request Cindy, as she can get me on the first try. He makes a comment about how he will get whomever is available, he won't make any special requests. While he's gone I dread their arrival. I know it's going to hurt and I'm going to get light-headed.

Much to my surprise, Cindy walks in with the doctor about 5 minutes later. She immediately smiles at me and says she remembers me. I remind her where to go (my left arm, at the elbow crease, toward the left), she tells me she remembers and gets started. She misses the vein on the first attempt but keeps the needle in. She moves the needle around a bit and apologizes for the pain. I tell her to just get the blood, I don't care about the pain (which isn't really true, but it's all I can think about). She strikes blood and a moment later it's over. The doctor takes the vial and dumps the blood onto a little card with special circles on it. It reminds me of how you have to fill in your answers on a test paper with your number 2 pencil, and you have to fill out the entire circle. The sight of the blood on the paper made my stomach turn, so I stopped watching. Cindy packed up her kit and headed out, wishing me well. Thank God for Cindy and other people like her.

The doctor stays with us and talks for a while about my blood clot history, he asks me questions which I answer honestly to the best of my recollection (it was over 10 years ago). He says he wants to pull my paperwork from Lancaster General, where I was hospitalized, and review it. He leaves for a long time and returns with a couple print-outs. He says that he wants to pay attention to it, but he does not think it's necessary to keep me on blood thinning medications while pregnant. He suggests additional blood work (yippee) for me to have done another time. He said he'll send a report to my OB who will in turn order the blood work for "thrombosis" and some other items. He explains that a counselor from his office will be calling me in a few days once the blood has been reviewed and they can make an analysis of my risk level. He requests my return around 18 weeks for another scan and sends me on my way. I have my hang-ups about male doctors, but overall I think he was a very nice doctor. He did make a joke about how he hopes my veins will double in size by the time I give birth, since I'll need an IV when I'm in the hospital. That wasn't very nice, but I'm sure he was kidding. :)

Building an Arc

It was raining so hard today at work that I was tempted to start building an arc. My friend and I were planning to go out to lunch but didn't want to brave the torrential downpour. We went through all the menus we have and finally found a place that sounded good and would deliver. Pat's Pizza. Nothing jumped out at me, but I thought Mozzarella sticks would be good. I ordered them, and some cheesy-breadsticks. Cheese overload. Yeah, you guessed it, about an hour later I got to taste everything again on the rebound.

Thankfully today at the office our food lab is serving ICEE drinks to everyone. Our stores will be able to start selling it soon so we're all getting to try it. The cool Icee is soothing my upset stomach for now. Yes, it's Coke flavored. Yes, that means there's some caffeine. No, that does not mean you're allowed to judge me. I got a half of a cup and it's mostly air anyway. I'll take what I can get.

On The Rebound

Another item to add to the list: Cheezit Snack Sticks.
They tasted so good when I was eating them, they went down so easy with my root beer and mindless watching of "The Real Housewives of New York". Then, they all came up. Another night of going to bed with nothing in my stomach but some water and a vitamin.

Red Lobster Cheese Biscuits

Tonight we were going to see a show, "Movin' Out", it's a musical review featuring Billy Joel's music. I had been feeling somewhat high from the fun day and decided I might be able to handle eating out. But what did I want? As we were driving it struck me. I wanted Red Lobster's Cheese Biscuits. Doug was worried I'd be sick at the smell of seafood but I knew I wanted biscuits. When we got to Red Lobster I looked at the menu. I didn't want anything but the biscuits. I settled on the soup, the cheapest thing on the menu, and told the waiter yes, we would like the complementary basket of biscuits.

The basket was gone in no time and my soup arrived. I didn't want it. I asked for more biscuits (to go with the soup, of course). I think I housed 8 biscuits. I had to tell myself to slow down. I told Doug to stop me, because they were going to taste really bad on the rebound. He told me to take it easy, but to eat whatever I could (I think he was so thrilled to see me eating he didn't care).

Eventually the waitor noticed I wasn't eating my soup and he asked if it was okay. I came clean and told him I didn't actually want the soup, that I'm pregnant and the only thing I wanted was the biscuits. He said he totally understood - when his wife was pregnant the only thing she wanted was Denny's. He was very kind and brought me a big bag of the biscuits to go. Yes, he earned a big tip.

April Fools!

Today I made the world aware. I got on Twitter at 6:45 in the morning and posted that I'm pregnant. I chose today because I thought it would be fun to see everyone's reactions on Twitter and FaceBook. It has been such a fun day. I had my first reply by 7am and many followed. Lots of people were like "ha ha, April Fool's" and many more believed it at first and then quickly commented on their stupidity, because of course I'm joking, it's April Fool's Day after all. After a while I posed an ultrasound picture, which I thought would settle the debate once and for all. Instead, it only added to the confusion as people commented how you can find just about anything on the internet.

For as many people commented on FaceBook and Twitter, there were dozens more who came up to "look me in the eye" to see if it was true. It was a really fun day and I surprised lots of people with my news. Everyone was very happy for me.